A Month of Goodbyes

at 3/20/2016 0 comments
This must be the most devastating year of my life and it's not yet the middle of the year. How much more to the upcoming months? On March 05, 2016 around 4:30 in the early morning, we've lost our baby, our 6 year old Persian cat whom we've loved and grew so fond of since the day we have him in our lives. We don't really know what happened to him because the last time I remember, I left him feeling fine but when I arrived home that day March 03, 2016, he was lying on the floor and did not even bother to greet me which he usually do. I asked my niece, our working student on what happened to Taigah when she arrived home from school. She told me that he vomited almost all her food and there was a huge hairball on it. So, I decided not to feed him that night to let his tummy settle and serve him water only. On the next day, the second day, I noticed, he did not touched his kibbles and only drunk his water. I hold him and checked his body and to my surprise, something is upsetting his stomach since it feels hard. I also noticed his litter box was empty. He didn't even peed which is very unusual. I was really worried and I told my boyfriend that we need to get him to the vet but he insisted that we should wait a little while 'coz that's what he always feel after a hairball situation ever since he's a baby. We tried to feed him NutriPlus gel so he can eat something 'coz I grew really paranoid already. I also feed him virgin coconut oil 'coz the vet told us before that it can help with the hairball situation. We also inserted a kiddie dose of suppository on his rectum 'coz we thought he is only having a constipation which our dog usually suffers. I went to school hoping that when I came home he have vomited or excreted what is it that's inside his stomach but evening came and it didn't. We lived in a small city and there's no legit vet on this area. People with pets only rely on self medication and internet information. It's almost 48 hours and he had not eaten but drank only a little water. I noticed when he got up and tried to walk, his feet shakes and he have this urge to go the litter box but nothing comes out. I blamed myself for my carelessness. It was only 9 in the evening when my fear grew that he is really in pain because every time I lightly press his belly, he will let out a little cry. I let him stayed in my room for the night so I can observe him. He fell asleep and breathing really hard around 12 in the morning. My parents were out of town and we lived far away from the central area of the city. I begged Taigah to please bear with us until 6 in the morning so we can rush him to the hospital. Around 4 in the morning my baby got up for the last time and collapsed. I hysterically panicked and screamed for help. I texted and called everyone I knew who could helped us but it's 4 in the morning and they're sleeping at that time. Nobody can help me (us). My baby did not make it. I held him close as he gasped his last breath. I even attempted to resuscitate him for the hope that he'll come back to life but he didn't. I hugged him until his warm body turned to cold and stiff. We spent a little time until 6 in the morning and reminiscing the time he was still here with us. I can't believe life will just be gone in just a blink of an eye. He was healthy 2 days ago and suddenly he's not. There must be something behind in this tragic incident. I mourned and cried for four consecutive days and after that when my mind cleared up, my boyfriend and I suspected that somebody poisoned my cat and did some research and our suspicion grew stronger. We thought our cat just suffered kidney malfunctions but we think he didn't. The short span of around 48 hours is incredibly suspicious for him to feel sick and eventually die since he was really healthy as far as we've known. While writing this post, I can't help myself but cried helplessly for I want to find justice to whosoever did this to my cat. Nobody has access to my pets but my family members. God so helped me not to let me know that one of them harmed by cat. I will never forgive that person. I can't believe that there are people in this world that will harm a helpless animal. My cat is very sociable and we regretted to train him like that, to be friendly to everyone. I don't know what kind of psychopath I'm dealing with right now since I believe harming animals is a warning that there is something wrong with this person. For now, I'm still coping up with the death of my beloved cat. It's been exactly 2 weeks since he went to the rainbow bridge. Wherever he is right now, I hope he is in good hands. My wish is I hope a plant will grow in his tomb to remind me of him all the time. I want to know that he is still with us in this world. Nobody can comfort me right now but myself. Even if I talk with some friends about it, they seemed not to get what I'm going through right now since they're not really cat lovers. Most of them are dog lovers. As for myself, I love both dogs and cats. There's no in between. That's why I can't just share my emotions with my friends about it. I just can't connect with them. Sharing this experience somehow release a little bit of pain in my heart. I need to talk this out so I can let it out from my chest. It's really hard experiencing loss of a loved one. It's really painful and can't be explained. I hope somebody can take this feeling away from me. I really miss my baby. I'm still terribly devastated and I can't help but blame myself. :(

February 28, 2016

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